I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize