Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize