I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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