thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize