in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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