omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
