I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
