Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
