I cockslap morals
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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