We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
