Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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