I want to have your abortion
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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