he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How's work?
Spinning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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