I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
