The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
