..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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