I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
