i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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