My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
