No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
