i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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