i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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