Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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