On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
