You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize