I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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