Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
