If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
