my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
