pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
