The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
