Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
