we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
