Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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