dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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