don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize