Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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