Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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