I just found puke in my bra..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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