If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
