So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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