My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
