On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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