What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize