That's intense
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
