craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There's always time for handjobs
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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