I think I just saw someone hide a body.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
