You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
