i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
