a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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