I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
