I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
