Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
tell me about the eggs
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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