i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
