new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
