You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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