my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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