I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize