I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
