dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
