I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
