It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
