I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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