My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
