He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
