Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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