it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize