Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
