actually, I'm a sock model
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
