its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
