Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
