i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
